Are you stressing about your next Instagram post? Grab the buds from your favorite autoflower seeds and chillax; we got this. Take your pick from our list of slap-in-your-face sayings and hidden stoner quotes.
These captions might make you the next big influencer or help you gain friends in high places (pun intended). Let’s get started.
1. “When you smoke herb, it reveals you to yourself.” – Bob Marley
The Jamaican CBD-using musician is the original deep stoner. This caption is for artistic types and would pair perfectly with a photo of beautiful scenery.
2. “I wake up early in the morning, and it feels so good. Smoking on some sh*t that you wish you could.” – Snoop Dogg, “This Weed iz Mine”
These lyrics inspire fellow wake-and-bake-ers to have an extra relaxed morning. Use this stoner Instagram caption when posting your primo herb to make everyone wish they could.
3. “You either love weed, or you’re wrong.”
Calling all loud and proud cannabis lovers, this quote is your next Instagram icon to show those weed haters you mean business. Can we even trust people who don’t love the herb?
4. “Everything is better with a bag of weed.” – Stewie and Brian Griffin, Family Guy (TV series)
These catchy lyrics support the decriminalization of marijuana. We can’t say if sharing it on the Gram helps advocate for legal freedoms, but it could garner more likes.
5. “Inhale the good, exhale the bad.”
This classic Insta caption is for all you ‘too cool for heartbreak’ people. You’re probably so cold; you grow cannabis seeds in Alaska. Roll up a fatty, stress less, and take in all the positives life offers.
6. “Things that are baked: Cakes, pie, cookies, me.”
Perfect hidden stoner quotes are inconspicuous like this one, so your mom might think you’re baking some treats.
7. “I smoke on the first date.”
We all have expectations when meeting someone for the first time, and this is one most weed lovers can get behind. Imagine, “Do you want to come up for coffee?” but it’s a joint.
8. “If we had a bong, weed all get along.”
This quote from a 1960s Woodstock placard shows support for three things dear to hippies:
Whether you’re taking pictures of your squad passing the bong or making a political statement, it’s a relatable saying.
9. “Happy Stoney Sunday / Terpy Tuesday!”
We’ve heard of Mancrush Monday, Wednesday Humpday, and Throwback Thursday, so here are stoner-themed days to elevate your page. These high captions for Instagram pair well with a leaf emoji to make them extra dope.
10. “It’s 420 somewhere.”
That somewhere is your Instagram page. Are you a 420 everyday type of person? Then this quote is likely your next caption for those daily smoke breaks (make sure you block your boss first).
11. “Good vibes only.”
21st-century hippies love this saying, and we hope everyone lives by it too. In reality, life gets challenging, and you don’t get to control what comes your way. So light one up and repeat the mantra. Soon enough, you feel happier or higher.
12. “All I need is cannabis and coffee.”
Starbucks queens who smoke weed, here’s one iced quote with a sprinkle of sassy. Are you having a bad day? Post this so everyone at the office knows to steer clear when you miss your cuppa and your blunt.
13. “Is that a joint man? That there looks like a quarter-pounder.” – Pedro, Up in Smoke (movie)
Next time you show off your rolling skills, use this quote from a cannabis entertainment industry icon.
14. “Struggle is the enemy, but weed is the remedy.” – Kid Cudi
Here’s another profound one for all you philosophical stoners. It holds true for many cannabis users who proclaim weed’s positive effects on their mental and physical health.
15. “Stoned lil’ thang.”
Call your tattoo artist because this quote would be a cute title for your picture and a sweet tat. Sometimes you just want a short weed caption to post your snap and go, and this one’s giving canna-bae vibes.
16. “I will never give up the Ganja – God’s own weed.” – Morgan Freeman
If this legendary actor said it, it has to be true.
17. “Couples who blaze together stay together.”
Post this one or use it to slide into the DMs of that cute stoner chick. This caption isn’t just romantic; it could hold some truth for living happily ever after. Marijuana may increase happiness, empathy, and sometimes sexual drive.
18. “Looks like Barbie, smells like Marley.”
Baddies unite; this is the ultimate savage stoner girl quote. Post your selfies and OOTD pics with this caption to serve leading character energy.
19. “Stop killing each other, man. Let’s just smoke a blunt.” – Tupac
We have to end our list with a quote from one of the best-selling artists of all time. This political rapper and legend was about spreading peace and blunts, which is what all weed lovers want. Post it on your Instagram and share the love.