Is there a Secret Sauce to Online Dating Success?

Today, many people spend much of their day swiping left and right on their phones. With more instances of ghosting or good potential turning into situationships, online dating has become a sour candy for most – you hate it but can’t resist it either.

Relationship experts argue that “online dating” is really just “online meeting,” whether on dating sites or apps. Call it what you want, but the facts remain that it is a place with beautiful possibilities with a few cons. When used mindfully and responsibly, combined with a dash of romantic optimism, you might just meet your future spouse on a dating app, as did a healthy number of survey takers conducted by the Pew Research Center.

The online dating scene may be a rollercoaster ride, but don’t let it scare you from dipping your toes, err, sorry, thumbs, in this virtual sea of prospects. Especially when we have dug deep in the wells of dating advice by experts and made this potion of 3 simple-ish ways to make you a pro at online dating that’ll maybe even match you with “the one.” Best part? Your therapist approves of this! So, follow along and take notes.

Be Selective

There are multiple dating sites, each unique with its USP for its audience and their goals. But signing up on every site is not going to help you find your ideal partner. Pause before spending hours swiping and messaging every single match – you don’t want to get burned out. That won’t be the dating sites’ fault. First, get clarity on what you’re looking for. Are you seeking something casual and fun, or are you ready to meet a long-term partner?

Then, choose an app or two and go through their reviews to get an idea of what the users have experienced. Once you have a winner, try it out slowly for a few days. There’s no fun in going on a matching frenzy without even one interesting conversation. So, choose wisely and start slow. Try and match with only those selected few individuals that fit your “ideal partner” checklist so you don’t end up wasting time and energy on incompatible people.

Put a good word

Reflect back on the theory of dating sites as the place to meet a stranger online. Compared to meeting people in real life, your bio and a picture is all someone will know about you before they start interacting with you, and vice versa. So, why not be nice and honest?

Many “pros” would tell you to put your dealbreakers out first, but that’s actually a rookie move. If your bio comes off as unapproachable, it can cost you a good conversation with someone you may later hit it off with. So steer clear of this advice and practice humble honesty. 

Give this a shot: have your best friend write a short, simple bio for you – something they’ll say about you if they were setting you up with their friend. If it’s sans any inside joke, post it. The person swiping right on you will appreciate the honesty when you two eventually meet and they find your personality agreeable, just like your best-friend-approved-bio said.

Protect Your Energy… and Heart

Assuming you followed the first two steps to the T and got yourself an interesting match you see some potential in, don’t get your hopes too high. This might come off as pessimistic, but human psychology has a point here. If you spend too much time talking in the “getting to know each other” phase before deciding on meeting in real time, sorry, but you might be setting yourself up for disappointment.

While there’s no harm in investing your energy in a conversation you genuinely enjoy in hopes for it to lead to something meaningful, it’s vital to keep a cautious eye open. Time is energy. And if you spend too much of it on one person, it’s almost impossible for you not to get attached, causing you to turn a blind eye to their subtle yet bright red flags. So, don’t be afraid to suggest a meet-up for a coffee or meal if you feel like you really hit it off with someone. If they are just as interesting in person as online, Hallelujah!

Relax, it’s just a chat!

At the end of the day, online dating is just that – chatting with people on the internet. Yes, there is always the risk of disappointments or getting ghosted in online dating is far greater. But which part of life comes with a guarantee of no failure? None! So brush off the pressure and show up as your authentic self. When you speak with genuine regard for yourself and the other person, you’ll attract the right match for you much more easily.