Should I Break Up With My Partner Over Their Drinking?

Alcoholism is an increasingly prominent part of life at the moment, with more people finding themselves suffering or entering rehab than ever before.

The likes of NHS rehab clinics are being overun with patients, but it can be a long journey to even get to that point and many people don’t even realise they have a problem with drinking. Which is problematic not only for them, but partners too.

A partner’s drinking habits can have a huge impact on a relationship and in many cases, the other half will consider breaking up, running away, or sticking around and ensuring they take the right course of action.

There’s no right or wrong answer in such cases, and it is a personal decision that involves many different factors. If this is the situation you find yourself in, here’s what you should consider.

Recognising Problem Drinking

The first step is to recognise that your partner does have a problem with drinking in the first place and the effect it’s having on them. There are many warning signs that a partner is drinking too much, including…

• ● Frequent heavy drinking: If your partner often drinks to the point of drunkenness or relies on alcohol to get through daily activities, this could indicate a problem.
• ● Mood swings or aggression: Alcohol can cause changes in mood, and if your partner becomes irritable, angry, or aggressive when drinking, this is a red flag.
• ● Neglecting responsibilities: If your partner is frequently missing work, avoiding social obligations, or neglecting important tasks due to drinking, it’s a sign that alcohol is taking priority.
• ● Health issues: Physical signs such as frequent hangovers, weight gain, or health problems linked to alcohol consumption can signal problematic drinking.
• ● Denial or secrecy: If your partner hides their drinking, becomes defensive when asked about it, or denies how much they are consuming, this could suggest that they are aware of their problem but are unwilling or unable to address it.

Impact on the Relationship

If you’ve recognised that their drinking is becoming an issue, the next important step is to understand exactly how it’s affecting your relationship. Problem drinking can have a big impact on many different aspects of a relationship, often causing arguments and distress, as well as a number of other issues. You should think about…

• ● Emotional distance: Alcohol can create a barrier between you and your partner, leading to feelings of isolation or emotional neglect.
• ● Financial strain: Excessive drinking can result in financial problems, especially if your partner is spending large amounts of money on alcohol.
• ● Resentment: If you find yourself taking on more responsibilities or constantly covering for your partner’s behaviour, you may begin to feel resentful. Over time, this resentment can damage your relationship beyond repair.
• ● Lack of trust: Problem drinking can lead to broken promises, dishonesty, and secrecy, which can undermine the trust and security that are vital to a healthy relationship.

Communicating Your Concerns

If it is the case that your partner’s drinking is having a significant impact on your relationship, you should have a conversation with them and communicate your concerns. It’s a tricky conversation to have, but it’s so important to let them know how their drinking is affecting the relationship, as it’s likely they may not even be aware.

You should focus on how their behaviour makes you feel and the changes you see in them, as well as the relationship. Discuss your worries and the future of the relationship, while you should ensure that it is an open conversation with your partner able to express their feelings too. It may be that they are struggling to cope with certain stresses, anxieties or depression that is leading them to drinking in the first place, of which they may be cooperative in getting help.

Seeking Help

Help is an important port of call. If your partner is open to addressing their drinking then it may be that you want to remain in the relationship and support them. There are tons of resources available to help them, from going to rehab, speaking to doctors, seeing counsellors and attending support groups.

You can’t force your partner into change, it needs to come off their own back and they must be willing to take responsibility or it might be the time to exit the relationship.

Deciding Whether to Stay or Go

Ultimately, whether you stay in the relationship or not is a decision that only you can make. If your partner acknowledges their problem and is willing to seek help, it may be worth giving the relationship a chance. Recovery from alcohol addiction is possible, but it requires time, effort, and commitment from both partners.

However, if your partner refuses to address their drinking or if their behaviour continues to have a detrimental impact on your well-being, it may be time to consider ending the relationship. Staying in a relationship where addiction is present can be emotionally draining and harmful, and you must prioritise your own mental and emotional health.